Jabu Munalula

Enneagram confirmed what my life had already showed me, that I am a Peacemaker, a Healer, a Comforter.

I was surprised to realize how much of my life was driven by my desire to please others. I have been very frustrated with life because, even after doing all the right things I could not find happiness or peace of mind. I realize now, that this is because I lost myself a long time ago. I lost touch with who I am and what I want. I hid myself from pain and neglected my needs. I have paid a heavy cost for my laziness. Laziness to find who I am laziness to be in touch with real life, choosing instead to live in a happy fantasy where nothing can really go wrong and nothing can really touch me. I avoided anything that threatened to make me feel. I have lived on the surface of life. But i am ok with this now, because I have a way forward that I believe in. My work now is to love myself, to stop living in the personality I have created and see myself for what I truly am. My second task is to respect and trust myself so that I can assert myself. The love I find will be my motivation. I am searching now for this being to love. Thank you, for taking guiding me through part of my process.