Be kind and thankful for negative emotions.

Be kind and thankful for negative emotions.

By Kessuda Boonngamanong……..

What is your relationship with the thoughts and feelings that you dislike?

When you have negative emotions — for instance, disappointment, anger, frustration, anxiety, sadness, shame or fear — how do you think or feel about that? 

Have you ever judged, fought or tried to run away from them? Have you ever felt anxious or stressed from having negative thoughts and feelings? How often does it end up with unhealthy actions that come from fear or anger that hurt you or the ones you care about?

Emotions and body sensations are a part of the human experience. We all tend to like and accept positive experiences. That is totally acceptable and there is nothing wrong with that. We tend to fight and avoid negative experiences. That is acceptable and there is nothing wrong with that. But what would it be like if you could use negative emotions as a way to help you discover your values and needs and take care of them in a healthy way?

Good news, you can get a lot of benefit from negative thoughts and emotions! Negative thoughts tell you about your beliefs. Negative emotions tell you about your needs. You can learn to understand yourself better by paying attention to them. Then you will be able to find a way to take care of yourself.

Painful, stressful and negative emotions always come from the way we cope with negative body sensations, thoughts, and actions.

Every day we notice that the number of people around us who are suffering from stress and anxiety is increasing. Not only adults but also our children face these situations. If you or people around you are experiencing stress and anxiety for any reason, and you don’t want to depend on medication all the time, here are some tips that you can use to deal with, prevent and reduce stress. 

How to cope with negative thoughts?

  1. Pay attention to the thoughts that judge what you think, feel, and do. What kind of thoughts are they? 
  2. Allow those thoughts to show up. How often do they show up?
  3. When they show up, watch them arising, appearing and disappearing. Pay attention to what is happening with your emotions and body sensations. What actions do you take based on your feelings?
  4. Investigate them: How does that thought look? Is it true? You may check the reality by asking someone you trust or who knows you well. You can check in with that person: are they thinking and feeling the way you expected?  Either way, you can learn from thoughts of dislike or judging. They tell you about your core beliefs. Your core beliefs are what you think about yourself and others.
  5. Ask yourself: was that thought or belief useful? Does it hold me back from what I want to do and what is important for me?

How to cope with negative emotions?

  1. Slow down and pay attention to your emotions. What are these emotions? 
  2. How do they affect my body? How does my body feel? 
    1. Accept that negative emotions are a part of your moment.
  3. Give yourself time to feel the sensations fully, to merge your with those sensations, see them arise then dissolve.
  4. Negative emotions are telling us about our needs. We are humans, we have human needs.    

Positive emotions = needs are fulfilled 

         Negative emotions = needs unfulfilled 

Giving yourself time to discover and investigate your needs is important. Do not fight, judge, avoid or ignore them.

  1. Be kind to yourself by finding a way to take care of your


  1. Take action in a way that will take care of your values

and needs. If your needs are related to others in your life, allow yourself to share what you need with them and make an honest and kind request. 

When we are mindful with our thoughts, it allows us to know emotional feelings and body feelings. When we allow and accept negative feelings, it helps us to cope and understand them better. Mindfulness practice is about accepting and being aware of whatever arises in our body, not judging it or fighting with it. 

The more you practice, the more you will be able to develop loving-kindness or compassion for yourself and others. When you understand your feelings and needs better, then you will be able to understand other people’s feelings and needs better too.

If dealing with negative emotions in your daily life seems difficult and complicated, I would be happy to guide you through the practices. You can schedule a session with me. If you are in the area, you are welcome to meet me in person. If you can’t come, an online session is also an option. 

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